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Adventures on Facebook



A Saturday night in, a bottle of wine and Facebook are not a great combo. The blinking cursor in the empty status field becomes hypnotic and my resistance is crumbling. It begs me to post something, anything.

I take a sip of my red and in my head I imagine an army of people, perhaps partaking of their own alcoholic refreshments, just waiting for me to entertain and enthral with one of my witty posts or searing political statements; well at least that’s what the bottle of wine was telling me. Of course reality is very different, but that status is empty and I’ve drunk the wine. I’ll be posting whether they like it or not.

I can be fairly prolific on Facebook and twitter. I love the fact that I can hammer out a few characters on my keyboard and hundreds of people will see it and some will even respond. Or, as my wife tells it, I am a massive attention seeker. Guilty – but she wouldn’t have me any other way, I hope.

So, with the back story in place, we get to the point of this post. It was just another Saturday night and I’ve had just enough to drink so that the previous week has completely melted away, but not enough to make me doze off. That’s the perfect amount. I can no longer ignore that blinking cursor.

This time I posted a challenge to my friends and asked them to construct a piece of fiction, in just two sentences. I thought I might get one or two, but I had no idea that I would end up unleashing a literary beast. Here’s some of the best responses. Enjoy, comment or add your own below this article.

There was political satire from the pen of Lee Bradley………

I had no debts when I left University. Of course, that won’t happen to you …

and another…..

We haven’t had a delivery of Coco Pops for 2 weeks. And the oven for the croissants has stopped working. ( South London horror)

Medical Drama from Pat Walker-Cooper………

I turned around and there it was!!!! A screen full of emergency calls!!!!

She would later produce this hard-hitting political drama…..

Your times up, you’re hated!!! Goodbye Cameron!

Then Jeanette Stewart and Lee Bradley turned their minds to cyber thrillers

‘And so, Mr Zuckerberg, with your very comprehensive list of dissidents, it should be far easier to implement the final solution’. ‘My pleasure Mr Trump’.

That was chilling enough but I can’t help wondering if there’s a tale behind this one from Lee……….

Your browser history. Has your spouse seen it?

Of course, given that these people are my friends, or the fact that alcohol was beginning to release their inner demons, it wasn’t long before the mood turned dark.

The first of the tales of terror came from Neal Jones, who kicked things off with this spine tingler……

Night closed in,and death drew closer. The chill of the night air stole her final breath.

Then it became abundantly clear that I had unleashed a terrible monster, a master of horror from within my own family. He’d been lurking in the cyber shadows for years and now he was free. I feel for his wife. Take it away Richard Goulding.

It started as a whisper “open up” which grew into a chant, louder and louder as he banged on the door with the bloody severed head in his left hand and the axe he held in his other. “Its your turn”.


The police broke the door down at 3:12am on saturday morning. Exactly seven days after her first scream, and three seconds before her last.

Oh God!

You would stink if you had been hanging upside down for two days”, The boss replied. “anyway that’s what’ll bring the rats to feed on his face, His screams will bring the wolves to finish the job”

He’s enjoying himself now.

“I think you have the wrong number” I said, but there was no response except for the sound of a child laughing. I put the phone down but the laughter continued.

Ok enough now!

“Sometimes, when the night is dark and the moon offers no comfort, when the only sound is the wind In the trees. That is when the dead ones come for the living”.

There’s just no stopping him.

Grey wax dripped down the candle onto the long slender fingers of the jailer, Its flame twisted and flicked in the cold air shining light on the terrified prisoner. They had all known the jail’s food stores were long gone but that did not stop them eating what was offered.

I’ll open another bottle of wine I think.

Richard had set the horror benchmark. He should frankly consider a career in writing. If he doesn’t he may need to talk to someone 🙂

It wasn’t long though before others had got the horror bug. Sample this chiller from the pen of Eileen Nolan.…..

Same time, 5 in the morning, footsteps dragging, closer, closer, frozen with fear. Bedroom door opening, the fear sets in, hear the dreaded words, you getting up now dad. AAAAARRRGH


Then came a head-twisting, cryptic tome from Wendy Dundas……….

She started to dial the number but then had a shiver down her spine, was she ready to hear the voice on the other end. She was jolted out of her dilemma by the doorbell, when she opened the door was like fate had made the decision for her.

……and this tech thriller from Chris Rule-Mullen

I recoiled in horror as the keys on the typewriter continued to add their own message to my work. The chilling sentence read “Microsoft recommends that you upgrade to a PC.”

It turned out to be quite a night and as the bottle emptied and the big hand edged relentlessly towards the witching hour, there was time for one more. Powerful and philosophical. I’ll give the last words to Lee Bradley….

Two sentences? Life and death, sums it up in my opinion.

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